Homophobic Demonization (Part 1): Biblical Origins

What does the Bible actually say about LGBT people? Turns out… a lot less than modern homophobes claim, and a lot more about incest, prostitution, and gang rape. We’re investigating the so-called “clobber passages” to see if the Good Book is actually anti-LGBT, or if it’s just a collection of Bronze Age misogyny and bad translations.
God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve — but did he mention Jerry’s third nipple? In this episode, we break down the most commonly cited “anti-gay” Bible passages and put them back into their historical and textual context. From the binary narrowness of Genesis to the biological reality of intersex people in antiquity, and from Sodom and Gomorrah to the letters of the Self-Proclaimed Apostle Paul, we examine the scripture that has been used to justify homophobia for centuries.
If the Bible is supposed to clearly condemn LGBT people, why does it spend so much time ignoring them while endorsing deeply disturbing behavior? Join us as we figure out why LGBT identity and ancient scripture are simply incompatible.

Want early access, bonus episodes, and behind-the-scenes chaos? Join our friendly cult on Patreon and help keep the blasphemy flowing: patreon.com/satanismysuperhero 

Next Up: Think the Bible was bad? Wait until we get to the Middle Ages.➡️ Listen to Part 2: Historical Hysteria to continue the Homophobic Demonization series.

Transcript

[TTS, Trigger warning.’]

[TRIGGER WARNING, ‘While it goes against my politically incorrect nature I am issuing a trigger warning for this episode. I know I make lots of inappropriate jokes in poor taste about some very heavy stuff in this podcast so you might think I’m joking now. I’m not. This episode contains material from the original supernatural horror show that is the Christian bible about sex, sexuality and sexual assault that some listeners may find triggering.]

In this episode I will investigate what the bible really has to say about LGBT.

[SATAN, ‘Oh Judas! You middle aged sis gendered straight white man! Of course you should be weighing in on this subject!’]

Now we’ve all heard the pithy quote,

[HOMOPHOBE, ‘God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.’]

[SATAN, ‘Yawn.’]

Sure the first time you heard that you might have thought it was a bit funny or at least as funny as a pun or dad joke can be but by the 15th time you hear it…

[ORGANIZER, ‘Okay guys we’re protesting a Pride march this Saturday and we need some new placards. Any ideas?’

PROTESTER, ‘What about God made Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve?’

GROUP, ‘Good one! It’s a classic and it’s true. You can’t deny it!’

ORGANIZER, ‘I was hoping for something new. Anyone got anything else?’

SILENCE

PROTESTER, ‘What about God CREATED Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve?’

ORGANIZER, ‘Brilliant! I love it. You now I was worried no one here was capable of an original idea!’]

In Genesis it is very clearly stated that YHWH created a man and a woman, Adam and Eve. It’s true that Steve is not mentioned and anyone without an imagination will argue this is all the information you need to understand YHWH’s plan for who and what the human race should be. But of course this particular short story is incredibly narrow in its scope and range of characters. We simply have no way of determining the sexual orientation or gender identity of Adam or Eve through the limited text written about them. The narrative of their relationship only occupies 3 chapters.

However, it does state,

[PREACHER, ‘Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.’]

Playing devil’s advocate here,

[SATAN, ‘Oh please don’t do that. People say they’re advocating for me but they never are.’]

This has been often quoted as a definitive statement on YHWH’s view of marriage. 

[SATAN, ‘Totally don’t feel advocated for right now.’]

But I’d like to take a closer look at just how reasonable it is to read Genesis as a definitive statement of YHWH’s plan for all humanity.

If you will indulge me I’d like to take a detour down the road of diversity.

And while we’re on the subject I am fully aware we can add an I and a Q and a couple of As and a P and a 2 and a + and I’m sure some furries would like insertion in this inclusive yet specifically categorized group as well. I haven’t left these out because I have any opinion about any of that. But I have kept it to the 4 way LGBT for the sake of simplicity and what can be found mentioned or alluded to in scripture. So for the purposes of this series of episodes that is where the focus will lie.

[SATAN, ‘The truth is he’s just lazy and will get tongue tied trying to accommodate everyone repeating a long and confusing initialism over and over. It’s just not good enough if you ask me.’]

Now despite all I just said, because it is relevant to the binary language used in scripture to define humankind I would like to talk about Intersex for a minute.

Tee Teaz please give us Wikipedia’s definition of Intersex,

[TTS, ‘Certainly Judas. I hope you know what you’re doing. Intersex people are individuals born with any of several variations in sex characteristics including chromosomes, gonads, sex hormones or genitals that, according to the Office of the United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights, "do not fit the typical definitions for male or female bodies".’]

In the past these people have been referred to as androgynous, hermaphrodites or congenital eunuchs. Estimates of Intersex births range from 0.02% to 1.7% of the population.

[OLDLADY, ‘Ooh look at you dear. How far along are you?’

PREGGO, ‘7 months.’

OLDLADY, ‘Ooh how lovely. Do you know what you’re having?’

PREGGO, ‘A human.’]

Intersex people are not a result of modern science. It’s a natural artefact of the diverse and complicated process of biological reproduction. 

As early as the 5th century BCE Greek philosopher and ‘Father of Medicine’ Hippocrates had recognized the existence of Intersex people.

In his book in the 5th century CE, The Literal Meaning of Genesis, St Augustine acknowledged the existence of Intersex people.

Why have I led you down this path of biological diversity? Genesis simply does NOT describe all of YHWH’s children and the many, many forms nature creates us in. There are plenty more ways than Intersex in which humans are born not in the form of Adam or Eve I could have gone into but I’m just trying to keep it as simple as I can right now. If you WANT to take Genesis at face value you are omitting a significant percentage of the human race from YHWH’s plan at birth.

[SATAN, ‘And you are Adolf Hitler. Oh I’ve done it! We’re only a few minutes in and I’ve already Godwinned myself!’]

I don’t think the authors of Genesis were so ignorant they had never seen a baby born physically different from their description of Adam and Eve. I’m going to give them the benefit of the doubt here and say like a Hollywood blockbuster action film screenwriter they were simply making big broad brushstrokes in their character descriptions. 

[MOSES, ‘Quickly scribe, the lord has touched me with inspiration, write this down. So God created man in his own image…’

SCRIBE, ‘Excuse me Moses, sorry to stop you but what about Jerry?’

MOSES, ‘What about Jerry?’

SCRIBE, ‘Have you seen his third nipple?’

MOSES, ‘Yes I’ve been to the office parties!’

SCRIBE, ‘So should we make a footnote about Jerry’s extra nipple?’

MOSES, ‘Okay then.’

SCRIBE, (Speaking what they are writing out loud) ‘Footnote: See Jerry’s nipples.’

MOSES, ‘Can I go on?’

SCRIBE, ‘Please do.’

MOSES, ‘In the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.’

SCRIBE, ‘What about the birth mark on Samantha’s foot?’

MOSES, ‘Do you want to make a footnote about Samantha’s foot?’

SCRIBE, ‘Yeah that does seem a bit on the nose doesn’t it. Ooh that reminds me have you seen the nose on Brianna’s youngest kid! No way does Yaway have a nose like that! It’s weird isn’t that we’re all created in the same image and yet we’re all so different. There’s a lady two tents down from me who is so flexible she reach over the back of her shoulder and scratch her own butt! And I don’t mean the top of it, she can get right down to the hole! I knew a guy with the nobbliest knees you’ve ever seen. They were so nobbly we called him Nobbly Knees McGee. You know we called him Nobbly Knees McGee so much I’ve forgotten what his real name was.’ (Fade out from I knew a guy, while still talking)] 

The strictly binary physical descriptions of Adam and Eve are simply too inadequate to infer anything about the rest of us.

And while Adam and Eve certainly do have sex and make babies, I think we can all agree that is not necessarily an indication of LGBT status. Importantly the text does not in any way shape or form actively speak against LGBT.

This man cleaves to his wife business is referenced in the very progressive and filled with Christs message of love for all mankind New Testament, when in the gospel of Matthew, Jesus is asked to give his opinion on divorce.

[PREACHER, ‘Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?  Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.’]

Now Jesus was asked about divorce and yet the authors of Matthew felt it necessary to very strongly imply marriage only occurs between a man and a woman. 

So while I might argue Genesis doesn’t go out of its way to actively exclude anyone I can’t say the same for Matthew. Although there is a get out of jail free clause for transgender rights in this same chapter.

[PREACHER, ‘For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.’]

So I take that to mean if you get gender reassignment surgery so you can better serve YHWH, you’re golden!

Later in Genesis we meet Lot who is a wealthy man living in Sodom. How did Lot attain his wealth? Well he is the nephew of Abraham, that’s right, THAT Abraham who is VERY wealthy. How did Abraham attain his wealth? Abraham was a pimp. 

[PHARAOH, ‘Hey Abraham I’m the Pharaoh of Egypt and I sure do like the look of your wife.’

ABRAHAM, ‘Oh she’s not my wife… she’s… my… um… sister. Yeah that’s it, she’s only my sister and nothing else.’

SARAH, ‘What? But…’

ABRAHAM, ‘Shut up woman this could be very good for me.’

PHARAOH, ‘Well if she’s your sister, I have an indecent proposal for you.’

ABRAHAM, ‘I’m sure we can come to some kind of arrangement.’

SARAH, ‘What kind of arrangement? What are you talking about?’

PHARAOH, ‘She’s a bit mouthy for a woman.’

ABRAHAM, ‘Don’t worry about anything she says Pharaoh. You know these bitches be crazy!’] 

Abraham makes so much money out of this arrangement that when YHWH smites the Pharaoh for having another man’s wife. Abraham moves to a new kingdom and pulls the same scam on King Abimeleck. This time YHWH literally works as Abraham’s standover man.

[ABIMELECK, ‘Abraham I was visited in a dream last night by YHWH who told me Sarah is actually your wife and a curse has been placed on me and my household because of it. You told me she was your sister. You lied to me!’

ABRAHAM, ‘I didn’t lie. Technically she is my sister, same dad, different mums.’

ABIMELECK, ‘But she is also your wife?’

ABRAHAM, ‘Yeah.’

ABIMELECK, ‘That’s gross! There should be a commandment about that!’

ABRAHAM, ‘Well there isn’t yet. Now about this curse, I’m sure we can come to some kind of arrangement.’]

King Abimeleck paid Abraham with land, slaves, livestock and a thousand shekels of silver.

Anyway, I got side-tracked. Back to Lot.

Lot meets 2 visiting strangers in the city of Sodom and invites them to stay in his house. They however are content to spend the night on the street. Now you know how in horror films the heroes arrive in town and are getting supplies before their night staying in the creepy old house and there’s always that one local character who tries to warn them but doesn’t actually tell them anything. Yeah Lot is that character and this is the first literary example of that trope I know of. 

So anyway Lot really, really insists they should stay in his house. The strangers finally agree but it’s too late. The local mob of gang rapists have already spotted the strangers and surround Lot’s house demanding they come outside to be sexually assaulted. It gets worse. Lot offers his 2 daughters to the gang in place of the strangers as it would be impolite to let anything untoward happen to guests in his house. 

[LOT, ‘Unnamed daughters what have I taught you about how we treat random strangers in our house?’

DAUGHTER, ‘We should look for every opportunity to treat them better than we would expect to be treated ourselves.’

LOT, ‘Very good! I have found for you, just such an opportunity.]

The gang try to force their way into the house and are blinded by the strangers who turn out to be angels. 

[STING, ‘Dunt dunt dah’]

The angels then compel Lot and his family to leave the city as they are about to set off a thermonuclear device and level it. 

Obviously this is where we get the term sodomy and it is very clear the tale is about sexual assault but does not in any way speak against same sex relations between consenting adults.

Interestingly in the same story after the escape of Sodom and it’s devastation we are told Lot’s 2 daughters get Lot drunk and have sex with him.

[SATAN, ‘I’m sorry but there is no amount of drunk that makes that okay.’]

Lot’s daughters bare him inbred children. A son Moab, progenitor of the Moabites and Ammon, father of the Ammonite nation. Now while the Moabites and Ammonites are despised by later generations, no one is directly punished for this act of incest. BUT only a couple of verses earlier Lot’s wife had been turned into a pillar of salt for failing to follow explicit instructions from the angels. So yeah. If we want Genesis to inform our values it doesn’t actually say anything about LGBT but very definitely endorses incest and misogyny on steroids where women are chattels to be passed around between men for personal gain.

[GIRL, ‘What are you doing?’

BOY, ‘Reading the bible.’

GIRL, ‘What? Why?’

BOY, ‘So I can be a better Christian.’

GIRL, ‘Oh no, no, no. Oh dear me no. Oh no. Oh sweet baby Jesus no. Oh lord no that’s the opposite of being a good Christian.’

BOY, ‘What am I meant to do?’

GIRL, ‘You let Father read certain passages to you and then he can apply his own context to the words without all the messy other things that might show his meaning has been fabricated to suit his agenda.’

BOY, ‘That sounds really, really dumb.’

GIRL, ‘We don’t call ourselves sheep for nothing!’]

The prophet Ezekiel also references Sodom and what happened there while tongue lashing Jerusalem when he describes the city as a promiscuous woman who has prostituted herself to the Assyrians, Babylonians and Egyptians whom he describes as having large genitals!

[SATAN, ‘Now you know why the pyramids had to be so tall.’]

Ezekiel even goes as far to say that Jerusalem’s neighbours and long-time enemies the Philistines were shocked at the lewdness. But there is no reference to LGBT. In fact no matter how you want to view it Ezekiel is very explicitly using heterosexual sex in his metaphor.

Sodom is referenced later in the New Testament in The Epistle of Jude, a 1st century warning about false teachers infiltrating the early church. 

[PREACHER, ‘Even as Sodom and Gomorrha, and the cities about them in like manner, giving themselves over to fornication, and going after strange flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire.’]

The phrase ‘going after strange flesh’ is more often than not interpreted as speaking about LGBT. 

Many seem to believe a better translation of the original Greek would have been, ‘other flesh’. But I don’t think that moves the dial one way or the other.

There is debate that Jude could be referencing Enoch in the verse before. 

[PREACHER, ‘And the angels which kept not their first estate, but left their own habitation, he hath reserved in everlasting chains under darkness unto the judgment of the great day.’]

Enoch told us the fallen angels were cast down to hell for lusting after human women and impregnating them with giant babies. The argument here from apologists is that the 2 strangers in Sodom were actually angels who as we all know are genderless.

[SATAN, ‘I prefer gender fluid thank you. I use all the pronouns. I’m a pronoun nightmare from hell. Do you see what I did there?’]

So Jude is actually worried about Christians wanting to have sex with angels. I think this is a weak argument.

[SATAN, ‘Case closed Jude’s a homophobe.’]

Which is a shame because I really like his name.

Now while earlier I did say Matthew offered a narrow escape clause for the transgender community Deuteronomy snatches it away with his line,

[PREACHER, ‘He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord.’]

[PASTOR, ‘Young man, why are you walking like that?’

YOUNGMAN, ‘Oh Pastor I got kicked in the testicles playing football yesterday.’

PASTOR, ‘Kicked in the what?’

YOUNGMAN, ‘Me nuts, nads, goolies, plums, jiblies, man eggs, sugar lumps, meat truffles, nicker ticklers, brovaries, hairy skin twins, crinkly demons, turkey skin handbag, grandpa’s war goggles, fuzzy nuggets, bearded bagpipes, trouser barnacles. You know! Me man berries.’

PASTOR, ‘Oh your Henry Wrinklers! Well you can’t come in here.’

YOUNGMAN, ‘Why not?’

PASTOR, ‘The good lord only wants to be worshipped by strapping young men with pristine daddy bags! Now get out and don’t come back until I’ve inspected those chin bumpers to check they’re fully healed!’]

Also in Deuteronomy we have this gem,

[PREACHER, ‘There shall be no whore of the daughters of Israel, nor a sodomite of the sons of Israel. Thou shalt not bring the hire of a whore, or the price of a dog, into the house of the Lord thy God for any vow: for even both these are abomination unto the Lord thy God.’]

We have much debate about what the intention behind the word sodomite is here. The first and most obvious is what has become the modern definition of someone who engages in anal sex. And as already discussed the events in Sodom were not directly linked to homosexuality but sexual assault which could also make sense to say don’t bring any whores or rapists here thank you.

But more broadly the word has been used through the ages to describe any sexual act that does not involve semen ending up inside a vagina. 

[SATAN, ‘So you are ALL sodomites then.’]

It can also be taken to mean a male sex worker and this would be the most logical choice here as it fits with the whole statement. The price of a dog is thought by some to refer to a male sex workers worth.

There is also debate as to whether or not the original Hebrew text used sodomite at all and may have used a word meaning ‘shrine prostitute’ which is a term allegedly linked to men who serviced so called ‘barren’ women having trouble to conceive.

[SATAN, ‘Translation, hubby was shooting blanks.’]

It’s an ancient IVF program.

[MAN, ‘Mate I think my wife is barren.’

MATE, ‘I had the same problem last year. Took my old lady down to the local shrine twice a week for a month, pregnant with twins!’

MAN, ‘What did they do?’

MATE, ‘I don’t know. They said I wouldn’t understand the process. I guess it’s all scientific mumbo jumbo. Anyway she said the experience was wonderful and can’t wait to go back next year. She reckons she’s gonna try for triplets.’]

I think it’s pretty obvious Deuteronomy is talking about men who have sex with other men, probably for money.

Now finally we come to the,

[STING, ‘Self-proclaimed apostle Paul.’]

In an upcoming episode of the Origin Story series we’ll talk more about the 

[STING, ‘Self-proclaimed apostle Paul.’]

But for now all you need to know is that in my opinion the guy was a bully and a thug who muscled his way into the early church with a fantastic lie. I am not alone in wondering why his letters are in the New Testament at all. But they are and have been used to bash the LGBT community so in this case the court of Satan is my Superhero will allow their testimony to be heard.

In Romans, which is a letter written by…

[STING, ‘Self-proclaimed apostle Paul.’]

…to the early Christians in Rome he says this while talking about sin and wickedness.

[PAUL, ‘Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves: Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen. For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly.’]

Now I know what you’re thinking, finally lesbians get a mention in scripture. And I think they are covered in this passage but many scholars are of the opinion this is once again talking more broadly about our old friend sex solely for the purposes of procreation. The term ‘natural use’ is used twice to describe appropriate female sexual activities to really drive the point home. As I said before this book is misogyny on steroids.

[SATAN, ‘I’ve always said they should have been burning bibles not bras in the 60s. It was a terrible waste of perfectly fine lingerie.’]

In a letter…

[STING, ‘Self-proclaimed apostle Paul.’]

…wrote to the early Christians in Corinth he says,

[PAUL, ‘Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.’]

There is debate that the word effeminate would have been better translated to mean ‘morally soft’ or ‘morally flexible’. The Greek word he used that has been translated to ‘abusers of themselves with mankind’ could have been deciphered as a compound of two words which would add up to ‘man bedder’ which might not necessarily mean men who bed other men but promiscuous women. So I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt on homophobia here but a fail on misogyny.

Also we get the ‘shrine prostitute’ possible translation thrown around here which would also fit.

And in a letter…

[STING, ‘Self-proclaimed apostle Paul.’]

…wrote to the Bishop of Ephesus Timothy he had this to say.

[PAUL, ‘the law is not made for a righteous man, but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and for sinners, for unholy and profane, for murderers of fathers and murderers of mothers, for manslayers, For whoremongers, for them that defile themselves with mankind, for menstealers, for liars, for perjured persons, and if there be any other thing that is contrary to sound doctrine; According to the glorious gospel of the blessed God, which was committed to my trust.’]

[SATAN, ‘Oh classic Paul. YHWH’s gospel has been committed to HIS trust. Pfft.’]

Here once again he used the Greek word for ‘man bedder’ that was later translated into ‘for them that defile themselves with mankind’ and all the same arguments apply.

In recent years there have many people trying their hardest to interpret scripture in new ways to try and fit the LGBT community into the faith.

[RECTOR, ‘Pastor I’ve been going over the books and based on our current congregation contributions this church will be bankrupt inside a year.’

PASTOR, ‘Are you telling me I’ll have to get a real job?’

RECTOR, ‘Yes.’

PASTOR, ‘Over my dead body! There must be something we can do?’

RECTOR, ‘The only way out is to expand our congregation but we’ve targeted everyone who might be interested in joining the flock.’

PASTOR, ‘Hmmm, not quite everyone.’]

Christians trying to manipulate millennia old scripture to fit into the ideals modern liberal democracies are kidding themselves. 

When your car breaks down you don’t take it to a blacksmith. When choosing a new smartphone you don’t consult with your local clock maker.

[BELLA, ‘Customer service, this is Bella speaking how can I help you today?’

CUSTOMER, ‘I’m trying to connect to this internet thingy I’ve heard so much about but I’m having trouble.’

BELLA, ‘I can help you with that. First of all what operating system are you running?’

CUSTOMER, ‘Windows.’

BELLA, ‘Excellent. Which one?’

CUSTOMER, ‘Windows.’

BELLA, ‘Yeah but which version?’

CUSTOMER, ‘Windows.’

BELLA, ‘Ah yeah but I mean is it like Windows 10 or Windows 8?’

CUSTOMER, ‘Windows.’

BELLA, ‘How long have you had this computer?’

CUSTOMER, ‘Ages.’

BELLA, ‘Oh right so it could be Windows 7?’

CUSTOMER, ‘I bought it brand new in 1985.’

BELLA, ‘Ohhhh. It won’t even have wi-fi.’

CUSTOMER, ‘I’ve got a hi-fi.’]

While some of the biblical text is not explicit and as I have tried to do we should treat it with charity and excuse the things they didn’t have enough parchment to mention. But there are passages that all the word gymnastics in the world won’t ever justify. LGBT and scripture are simply incompatible.

To make my point I’ll leave you with one last quote from Leviticus in the Old Testament. These are allegedly the words of YHWH himself as quoted by Moses.

[PREACHER, ‘Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.’]

And that’s why Satan is my superhero.