The Jezebel Spirit & Super Bowl Halftime Conspiracies

This week we drag the Jezebel stereotype and crazy christian conspiracies through the fiery pits of satire! From Rihanna to Katy Perry, pop divas apparently summon demons with every sequined costume, and the Super Bowl halftime show is “ground zero” for sexist Satanic panic. We fact-check the hysteria, expose the blatant misogyny behind “Satanic” accusations, and celebrate the real power of women in music. This episode blends satire, fact-checks, and pop culture chaos into one glorious 20-minute ride. 

   “If Beyoncé is summoning demons, at least they’ve got rhythm." 

 If you loved today’s Super Bowl meltdown, check out: 

• They Hate Women
• Disney Witches
• Taylor Swift Satanic Witch

 Need more witchy goodness? Head to our Patreon for bonus sketches, O.G. witch deep dives, and original Hoots songs that didn’t make the main show 

Sauces:

This episode was simmered with a spicy mix of pop culture reporting and christian pearl-clutching. We’re not here to promote their platforms — just to roast them.  Some of the sauces:

• Breathecast: Katy Perry & Satanic imagery
• Reuters: Rihanna Super Bowl belt
• Madonna on sexy crucifixes 
• Charisma News: Sabrina Carpenter & devil lyric
• Breitbart: christian "commentary" 
• Ken Ham statements

Plenty more went into this stew — full list available on request. 

Keywords: Jezebel stereotype, Christian conspiracy theories, Super Bowl halftime, Beyoncé Satanic rumors, Satanic panic, misogyny in religion, pop music and Christianity, Jezebel Spirit

Transcript

 [JUDE, ‘In this episode we ask the question, why do Christian conspiracy theorists hate the lady popstars, so much?’]

01 [CHRISTIAN, ‘I can't compete with them for the male gaze.’

DUDE, ‘What?’

 CHRISTIAN, ‘Nothing, I wasn't talking. You were talking.’

(BEAT)

CHRISTIAN, ‘Boobs are overrated.’

DUDE, ‘What?’

CHRISTIAN, ‘Nothing! I didn’t hear anything. Stop hearing things that I’m not saying.’

(BEAT)

CHRISTIAN, ‘Unless you agree?’]

Now obviously insecure men clutching their pearls and squealing in a high pitched voice at powerful women has always been a thing.

02 [HIGHPITCHMAN, ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about. Evil female demon witch!’]

In this episode we’re just looking at relatively recent Christian conspiracy theorist outrage on the subject. BUT over on the Patreon…’

(BEAT)

See what I did there?’

[JUDE, ‘Love it.’]

Over on the Patreon we’ve got some bonus content we dug up on the O.G. witchy women, Stevie Nicks, Sinead O'Connor and Bjork. You know what? There’s lots of witchy goodness over on our Patreon. You should just give in to the impulse right now and join us.

[DEMON, ‘Go to Patreon.com/satanismysuperhero.’]

Anywhooo, in 2014, with a knights Templar cross emblazoned on her chest, Katy Perry pole danced around a witches broomstick. Surrounded by what can reasonably be described as demons, pagan gods, forest imps and general witchy folk at the Grammys of all places!

03 [PERRY, ‘I'm not trolling Christian conspiracy theorists for exposure. I totally promise.’]

[JUDE, ‘Okay Lexi, we’ve done the intro, plugged the Patreon...’]

[DEMONSPEDUP, ‘Go to Patreon.com/satanismysuperhero.’]

[JUDE, ‘Please! Can we let the Christian conspiracy theorists out now?’]

Okay, Jeannie Law of the Website Breathecast ran an article she titled: Katy Perry's 'Dark Horse' Grammy Awards Performance Filled with Satanic Imagery and Witchcraft!

[JUDE, ‘Aw, no. I’m sad I missed it now.’]

Law was quick to point out former Christian singer Perry had abandoned her faith and was now hanging out with witchy types like Stevie Nicks.

04 [PERRY, ‘She's like everyone's favourite grandma. But without a septum.’]

In 2015 Katy Perry performed at the Super bowl half-time show and founder of the Creation Museum in Kentucky and embarrassingly Australian pseudo scientist Ken Ham asked,

05 [HAM, ‘Do young people in the church follow Katy Perry? I hope not! Sensuous and evil.’]

[JUDE, ‘I can’t imagine referring directly to any person as 'sensuous'. Maybe I'm just being a prude? I'll try it at work tomorrow and see how it goes.’]

06 [SFX BUSY WAREHOUSE

JIM, ‘Hey Judas there's a call in the office for you.’

JUDAS, ‘Okay, thanks Jim. Hey Jim? I think you're sensuous.’

SFX SUDDENLY STOPS SILENCE THEN CRICKETS

HR OVER PA, ‘Judas Falling report to HR immediately.']

Side note: super bowl halftime shows come up a lot around this subject. Am I out of line suggesting, Christian conspiracy theorists one and only annual exposure to modern pop culture is the Super Bowl Halftime Show?

07 [BOY, ‘I like football because no girls allowed!’]

And if that's true, imagine how much fun we can have with that.

08 [ANNOUNCER, ‘Please welcome to the stage of the Super Bowl 60 stage, a packet of ketchup.’

SFX Crowd goes wild followed by long silence. 

ANNOUNCER, ‘Soooo, it's really just a packet of ketchup?’ 

COLOUR, ‘Yep.’

ANNOUNCER, ‘I thought it was the stage name of a hip hop artist.’

COLOUR, ‘Nope. It's an actual packet of ketchup. This is what the kids are into these days.’

ANNOUNCER, ‘So what happens next?’

COLOUR, ‘Nothing. This is the whole act for 12 more minutes.’

ANNOUNCER, ‘Tik Tok has destroyed our society.’]

Also after seeing that same NFL half-time show, Christian conspiracy theorist and founder of the Christian activist group, The Resistance, Mark Dice claimed,

09 [DICE, ‘Katy Perry promotes bisexuality and appears to be some kind of Satanic Witch.’]

[SATAN, ‘Hey! Satanic witch is Taylor Swift's thing. Don't call her that. The last thing Katy needs is a new beef with Tay Tay.’]

Dice then added to his generic cookie cutter homophobic demonization with his very own twist of girl hate, 

10 [DICE, ‘Call her a singing stripper. That’s kind of my phrase. Singing stripper.’]

[JUDE, 'He came up with ‘singing stripper’ all by himself?']

He said it's his phrase.

11 [NASA, ‘Thanks for coming in today Mark.’

DICE, ‘No worries.’ 

NASA, ‘I understand you are the man who came up with the phrase, "singing stripper"?’

DICE, ‘Yeah, it just came to me one day. Out of the blue.’

NASA, ‘That’s amazing! Mark, we need great minds just like yours here at NASA.’

DICE, ‘NASA! This was meant to be! Talladega Nights is my favourite movie!’]

Dice has a thing for the Super bowl. He also accused the Madonna and Beyoncé performances of 2012 and 2013 of being,

12 [DICE, ‘elaborate Illuminati rituals hidden in plain sight.’

TRANSITION

SFX PHONE CALL

MADONNA, ‘Yo Beyonce, it's your homegirl Madonna. Sup bitch!’

BEYONCÉ, ‘Please don't talk like that. What do you want?’

MADONNA, ‘Mark Dice is onto us.’

BEYONCÉ, ‘Well it was only a matter of time before humanity's greatest mind would figure us out.’

MADONNA, ‘Tru dat, y’all.’’

BEYONCÉ, ‘Seriously Madonna, seriously, just, don't.’

MADONNA MEEKLY, ‘Word.’]

What flavour Christian conspiracy theorist is Mark Dice? I heard no one ask. Well in 2008 he tried to get Starbucks cancelled because their logo featured a half naked siren. He said, 

13 [DICE, ‘It's extremely poor taste, and the company might as well call themselves Slutbucks.’]

[JUDE, ‘Slutbucks is heaps better than singing stripper! Why isn’t he proud of Slutbucks?’]

I know right! Tell me you wouldn’t go to Slutbucks!

14 [SERVER, ‘Welcome to Slutbucks. What can I get you today?’

CUSTOMER, ‘Can I have a Pumpkin Spice?’

SERVER, ‘Let me check. Pumpkin! Are you available right now?’]

Then in 2016 Dice tried to get ‘Rogue One: A Star Wars Story’ cancelled. He claimed it was,

15 [DICE, ‘Feminist propaganda.’

TRANSTION

YODA, ‘Hmmmm, strong with this one, the beta cuck is.’]

That’s enough from Mark Dice.

[JUDE, ‘No, I’ve got one more.’]

16 [JAZZY, ‘Welcome to Slutbucks. For those who love to fuck.’]

[JUDE, ‘Okay. Now I’m done.’]

Good. Now you may remember before we got sidelined by a Mark Dice tangent.

17 [JAZZY, ‘Slutbucks. For those who love to fuck.’]

We were actually talking about Katy Perry. 

[JUDE, ‘With the halftime show with the whips and chains and stuff.’]

It was the Grammys and I didn’t say anything about whips and chains?

[JUDE, ‘It’s just way I imagined it.’]

Okay. So one more Katy Perry story then you can do your Russel Brand joke and we’ll move on.

[JUDE, ‘Cool. I mean, I don’t have Russel Brand joke, I’m waiting to do.’]

In 2017 Perry talked about her experience growing up and going to Christian camps where they would pray the gay away. 

18 [CAMP CHAPLAIN, ‘Dear lord Jesus please help Derek stop thinking about backing up on Bruce in the showers and slowly, gently at first working Bruce's rock hard…’

(BEAT)

CAMP CHAPLAIN, ‘Whoo, is anyone else getting hot?’]

Perry was less than positive about the experience. 

19 [MUM, ‘How was Christian camp dear?’

SARKY PERRY, ‘It was CHRISTIAN camp!’

COA, ‘Dickhead.’]

Properly evil person, checkout his episode on our Patreon.

(BEAT)

See that? Plugged it again.

[JUDE, ‘Proud of you.’]

Properly evil person Gordon Klingenschmitt, responded to Perry’s description of her own lived experience with,

20 [KLINGENSCHMITT, 'Katy Perry, you don’t just need more of your Jesus camps, more of the Bible, more of what your parents told you; you need to get the devil out of you.']

[JUDAS, ‘I would argue Perry got the devil out of herself when she divorced Russell Brand.’

BOOM TISH LAUGH TRACK]

Moving along. In 2017 Lady Gaga was booked to perform at the, stop me if this sounds familiar, NFL Super Bowl Halftime show. Before she had even set one single lefty, communist gay loving foot on stage, Alex Jones melted down in a video claiming,

21 [JONES, ‘she's reportedly going to be on top of the Super Bowl on top of the stadium, ruling over everyone with drones everywhere surveilling them in a big swarm, to just condition them that "I am the goddess of Satan ruling over you with the rise of the robots," in a ritual of lesser magic.’]

[JUDE, ‘I think that deserves a remix.’]

21b [REMIX: Danzig 12 [LEXI, ‘The machines are coming!’

JONES, ‘I am the goddess of Satan ruling over you with the rise of the robots.’

LEXI, ‘The machines are coming!’

JONES, ‘I am the goddess of Satan. Satan. Satan.’

ROBOT, ‘Extermination time bitches.’

JONES, ‘Satan. Satan. Satan.’]

In 2020 future Trump endorsed Republican candidate running for Michigan Secretary of State Kristina Karamo made some comments on her podcast, It's Solid Food.

22 [KID, ‘I broke my tooth!’]

In this episode Karamo went on a rant about popstars, saying,

23 [KARAMO, 'most perpetrators of this rise in paganism and witchcraft are celebrities.']

[JUDE, ‘Why ARE celebrities beating YHWH in the fight the souls of our children?’]

Because celebrities are real.

[JUDE, ‘Hmmm, that IS an unfair advantage they have.’]

Karamo said of Ariana Grande,

24 [KARAMO, 'At the MTV Awards, her performance involved recreating the Last Supper of Christ as a lesbian orgy.']

[JUDE, ‘I need to start watching these award shows!’]

25 [HUSBAND, ‘This is disgusting. Ariana Grande has a bunch of women kissing each other on stage.’

WIFE, ‘We should turn this off.’

HUSBAND, ‘Yes we should.’]

Karamo then asked and answered the question, 

26 [KARAMO, 'Why are young people walking away from the faith? Because they’re under a satanic delusion.']

This from someone who claims Trump won the 2020 election. And when she herself was voted out as chairperson of the Michigan Republican Party in 2024, refused to accept the result. I agree Kristina, delusion is a problem.

27 [KARAMO, ‘It's not delusion, when I do it!’]

As an example of the 'satanic delusion', Karamo referenced the Billie Eilish track, 'All the Good Girls Go to Hell'.

[SATAN, ‘Good girls are just nicer to be around! Don’t tell any of the nasty bitches I said that.']

Karamo also claimed Beyoncé was,

28 [KARAMO, 'trying to target Black people into embracing paganism']

I doubt Beyoncé is doing that. But I think she should. As a rule, you should always reject the gods of your invader, coloniser and oppressor.

[TTS, ‘I agree. That's why my Jesus is Neo, from The Matrix.’]

And Karamo called Cardi B,

29 [KARAMO, 'a tool of Lucifer.']

[SATAN, ‘She's obviously never met Cardi B. I once asked Cardi to pass me the salt. I still have bruises. Deep emotional bruises.’]

In 2023 Reuters ran a fact checking article regarding claims Rihanna had worn a belt with a pentagram on it at, drum roll please.

[DRUM ROLL]

The NFL Super Bowl Half time show!

30 [MAGAT, ‘All these bitches are ruining football!’]

Rihanna wasn't wearing a belt with a pentagram on it by the way. Not that, it really matters at all. 

31 [JAZZY, ‘Facts are boring.’]

Before Rihanna even arrived at the event, Donald Trump Jr tweeted,

32 [TRUMP JR, ‘I’m 4th behind, Ivanka, Melania and Barron but above Eric! In the lesser Trumps.’]

Sorry, wrong tweet. Here it is.

33 [TRUMP JR, ‘On a scale of 1 to the Grammys how satanic will the #SuperBowlLVII Halftime Show be?’]

[SATAN, ‘That really depends on how much Columbian Nose Candy you’ve had. So in Junior’s case, VERY Satanic.’]

At least having the decency to wait until Rihanna had actually performed at the Super Bowl, former Christian Broadcasting Network reporter and Breitbart News contributor, Brigitte Gabriel tweeted,

34 [GABRIEL, ‘Why do all the major live performances by woke artists have a demonic feeling? Sam Smith, now Rihanna, Hollyweird has gone insane.’

TRANSITION

SARKY, ‘Oh wow, you called Hollywood, HollyWEIRD. You're so cool.’

GABRIEL, ‘Oh thanks. It just came to me! I was thinking, wood and weird are similar so I just swapped them.’

SARKY, ‘I was being sarcastic. You suck.’

DEJECTED GABRIEL, ‘Yeah, I know that.’]

Former Newsmax host, Grant Stinchfield claimed,

35 [STINCHFIELD, ‘OK, she’s dressed in red, and she falls from the sky, surrounded by people dressed in white like angels. Do we know the story from the Bible when Satan fell from heaven, and he brought down those fallen angels with him? That’s exactly what played out on our screens! And then it got even worse when they literally did every disgusting move you can imagine.’]

Based on Stinkfist’s, I mean Stinchfield’s recommendation, I checked out the performance. She very definitely, did NOT do every disgusting move I can imagine.

[JUDE, ‘Stinkfist is a conservative Christian. I'd be genuinely surprised if he could imagine 4 different things. And I don't been disgusting sex acts. I just mean 4 things. ANY FOUR THINGS at all.]

In 2023 Doja Cat released the decidedly satanic looking and sounding, Paint the Town Red off her decidedly satanic looking and sounding Scarlet album. Podcast favourite, Ben Shapiro responded with a video titled,

36 [SHAPIRO, ‘Doja Cat in Bed With Satan? Question mark?’]

[JUDE, ‘That must have been devastating for her, both personally and professionally.’]

I'm sure it was. In fact we have a recording of her response right here.

37 [DOJACAT SOBBING AND MEOWING]

In 2023 Christian influencer Traci Coston posted a video from a Lana Del Rey concert in Mexico where a section of the tightly packed crowd all fell over. CHRISTIAN Traci Coston, misrepresented this event in her video.

[JUDE, ‘The Christian conspiracy theorist lied!’]

I’m not going to bother you with what she claimed. It was witchcraft related. I just want you all to hear Lana Del Rey’s response. 

38 [LDR, ‘B!tch I know the Bible verse for verse better than you do. PS you’re giving off super gremlin energy. Not in a good way.’]

[JUDE, '10 out of 10. No notes.']

In 2024 Sabrina Carpenter released the song, ‘Please, Please, Please’. It’s about being in a troubled relationship and features the line,

39 [CARPENTER, ‘Whatever devil's inside you, don't let him out tonight.’]

For reasons that will only ever be clear to the writer, editorial staff and their therapists, Catholic website, Charisma News responded to this lyric with the headline,

40 [CN, ‘Another Former Disney Star Goes Demonic.’]

[JUDE, 'So because she said the word devil in a pretty common metaphor about that type of situation, she must surely be a devil worshipper? Charisma News, you got no riz.'

(BEAT)

JUDE, ‘Did I use riz right?’]

Kind of but not.

[JUDE, ‘Good enough for me.’]

And while we’re back in the well trod subject of Disney, see our previous episodes Disney Demons and Disney Witches.

[ERIC, ‘Gratuitous back catalogue plug.’]

In 2024 Mary Morgan from the right wing YouTube channel, Pop Culture Crisis said of Olivia Rodrigo,

41 [MORGAN, ‘I knew this former disney kid was a satanic industry plant from the time she was invited to the white house to promote vaccines.’]

[JUDE, 'Mary struggled at school didn't she.’]

I think she would struggle at kindergarten, today.

42 [MORGAN, 'I have a level of confidence in my knowledge of reality that can only be attained by a true fucking moron.']

In 2024, after Tay Tay had endorsed Kamala Harris, totally mentally okay Pastor Greg Locke tweeted,

43 [LOCKE, ‘Taylor Swift is a full blown witch. Stop defending her. She’s gladly cursing your children. She’s an enemy of Jesus.’]

[JUDE, ‘Ignoring the fact Greg Locke thinks the omnipotent creator god of the entire universe can have an enemy,’]

44 [CHOIR of DEMONS, 'They don't know what omnipotent means.'

BILLYHILL, 'I thought it meant you can't get a boner?']

[JUDE, ‘How is Tay Tay 'gladly cursing' our children?’]

45 [SWIFT, 'Oh lord Satan, please put the curse of explosive diarrhoea on any child who listens to Katy Perry.']

[JUDE, ‘What can we take away from these Jezebel Popstars?’]

It's mostly what I am dubbing ‘SEO Hate’. They just get to associate themselves with a big name for clicks. 

[TTS, ‘By doing this episode, you're actually helping them.’]

[JUDE, ‘God damn it Teeteaz! Alright time for a quote.’]

Since we’ve been hearing from the Christians all episode, I thought it only fair that we let some lady popstar return fire.

46 [PERRY, ‘Hey Christians!’

LEXI ‘Thanks for the publicity.’]

And who better than the OG pop superstar who taught these ladies all they know about Christian trolling. In a 1985 interview with Spin magazine, the one and only, Madonna said,

47 [MADONNA, ‘Crucifixes are sexy because there's a naked man on them.’]

[SATAN, ‘Well, sexy if you're into a man suffocating to death while his lungs collapse and his bowels ooze out of his rectum as his sphincter loses integrity. But I'm not here to kink shame.’]

And that's why Satan is my Superhero.