Zoroaster and the Devil’s Origin Story

Who invented Satan? If you said "the Bible," think again nerds!
In this Origin Story Vol. 1 minisode, we go ancient, like really ancient and introduce you to Zoroaster, a Persian prophet who may have accidentally drawn up Satan’s first résumé.

Before YHWH got possessive and the Christians started branding anyone with hobbies as a witch, Zoroaster was preaching about ONE god ‘Ahura Mazda’ and his cosmic nemesis, ‘Angra Mainyu’. This dualistic theology gave us some suspiciously familiar tropes:
🔥 a lake of fire
🐍 a fallen being who tempts humanity
🪰 a healthy dose of snakes, flies, lies, and spiritual gaslighting

So what happens when your evil twin kills the bull you just created, invents deception, and inspires the entire species to commit incest? You get Satan baby! Or at least the rough sketch of him.

We unpack how Zoroastrian fire cults, lava-filled doomsday scenarios, and demonized rival gods helped lay the groundwork for the Christian Devil, while pointing out how the Old Testament borrowed liberally from religions it once called heresy.

Expect:

• 🧠 Deep mythological nerdery
• 🤘 Blasphemous sketch comedy
• 📚 Weirdly specific ancient trivia
• 😈 Recurring characters you’d never invite to youth group

🎧 Topics Covered

• Zoroastrianism and its influence on Satan
• Angra Mainyu: Satan’s proto-form
• Fire temples, lava rivers, and bull semen creation myths
• Ancient monotheism vs dualism
• The Babylonian exile and Jewish theological evolution
• Snakes, lies, incest, and apocalypse (you know, the classics)

👉 Share this episode with a fellow heretic who thinks Satan was just a christian invention.

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🗂 Keywords
Zoroaster, Zoroastrianism, Ahura Mazda, Angra Mainyu, origin of Satan, Satanic mythology, fire temples, ancient Persian religion, devil history, Christian devil origins, lake of fire, biblical plagiarism, Babylonian exile, dualism, spiritual warfare, dark comedy podcast, atheist podcast, Satan is my Superhero, irreverent theology, religious satire, mythology podcast, sketch comedy, apocalypse religions, bull semen mythology 

Transcript

 Zoroaster and the Devil’s Origin Story

 EP 105

 [JUDE, ‘In this minisode we continue our miniseries exploring ancient influences in the creation of our favourite superhero.’]

[SATAN, ‘That’s me!’]

Many of our modern devil’s attributes can be found in the traditions of Zoroastrianism.

[JUDE, ‘What is zoronatriganim?’]

Hundreds, maybe even a thousand years before the children of Abraham started writing down their ideas, a bloke by the name of Zoroaster was getting around what is today, modern day Iran, preaching about one true god.

01 [FOLLOWER, ‘What do you mean, there’s just one god?’

ZOROASTER, ‘That’s right. Just one.’

FOLLOWER, ‘Who’s your god of the harvest?’

ZOROASTER, ‘The one and only god.’

FOLLOWER, ‘Aha! So who’s your god of war then?’

ZOROASTER, ‘No it’s just the one. It’s the same one. He’s the god of everything.’

FOLLOWER, ‘So you believe there’s just one god running every single thing in the whole universe all at once all by himself?’

ZOROASTER, ‘That’s right!’

FOLLOWER, ‘That would explain why everything is managed so badly.’

ZOROASTER, ‘Exactly! I mean, um, no!’]

According to the Zoroastrian tradition, Ahura Mazda is an uncreated being that dreamed up this whole universe. 

02 [MAZDA, ‘I had the weirdest dream. I created a world where Riverdale ran for seven years. But Firefly was cancelled half way through its first season!’]

Ahura Mazda’s main antagonist is Angra Mainyu. 

03 [MAINYU, 'Hello. I'm Angra Mainyu. Proof your monkey brains just can't understand monotheism or omnipotence. Now back to your little podcast.']

There are different accounts of what Angra Mainyu is. 

04 [MAINYU, 'I'm a fucking legend. That's what I am.']

And just like Satan in the Old Testament, Angra Mainyu does not originally appear as a name. But seems to have been a description of a destructive or chaotic mind or spirit. Used in a sentence, you might say, this kid is Angra Mainyu. 

05 [BLUEY, 'I feel targeted.']

It’s really about having bad thoughts. Thinking good thoughts is an important part of Zoroaster’s doctrine. 

[JUDE, ‘So in the earliest known influence on the modern Satan, human nature is the REAL problem.]

[GASP, ‘Wow. I never saw that coming.’]

REPLAY OSV1OG [FOLLOWER, ‘Only think good thoughts, only think good thoughts, only think good thoughts…’

LEPER, ‘Excuse me but would you mind passing this old blind leper his stick? I seem to have dropped it.’

FOLLOWER, ‘Get away from me scum! Can’t you see I’m concentrating on being a good person right now?’]

In some stories Angra Mainyu is the twin brother of Ahura Mazda. In some stories Angra Mainyu is like an angel created by Ahura Mazda who fell from grace. 

[SATAN, ‘Oh really? I haven’t seen him at the meetings?’]

In one creation story Ahura Mazda creates a man and a bull. 

06 [MAN, 'Hi, I'm Man.'

BULL, 'Moo.'

MAN, 'Well this sucks.']

Meanwhile Angra Mainyu creates snakes and flies. 

07 [SNAKE, 'Hiss.'

MAN, 'Thank goodness! There's someone else here. I thought I was gonna be stuck alone with this guy forever.'

BULL, 'Moo.'

MAN, 'The conversation has been stale. I'm Man, by the way. And you are?'

SNAKE ANGRY, 'Hiss.'

MAN, Ow! You bit me!' 

SNAKE ANGRY, 'Hiss.'

MAN, ‘Come on Bull, let’s split this scene. Those guys over there look like fun.’

BULL, ‘Moo.’

MAN, ‘Yeah I know, you warned me.’

BULL, ‘Moo.’

MAN, ‘I don’t need a lecture alright. Let’s just put the snake business behind us and put our best foot forward with these new fellows.’

SWARM OF FLIES, 'Bzzzzzzzzzz.'

MAN, ‘How do you do? I’m man.'

SFX SWARM OF FLIES ATTACKS MAN

MAN, ‘Arrrrggghhhh! Why?! Why!?’]

Then Angra Mainyu murders the man and the bull. 

08 [ANGRA MAINYU, ‘I had to find out which one made the best hamburgers. It was the bull, by the way. But you already knew that.’]

The man’s body becomes a seed that sprouts the first human couple.

09 [WOMAN, ‘So we're the first couple?’

MAN, ‘ONLY couple.’

WOMAN, ‘And we're siblings?’

MAN, ‘Well, we share a parent, so technically, yes.’

WOMAN, ‘And we're supposed to kick-start an entire species. But there's no one here, who's not my brother?’

MAN, ‘I agree, it's sub optimal.’ 

WOMAN, ‘Why is it the dudes who invent religions, always have this brother sister fetish?’

MAN, ‘I know! It's weird right?’

WOMAN, ‘Are you getting undressed?’

MAN, ‘Hey! I don't make the rules.’]

The bull becomes the seed of pretty much all other life on Earth. 

10 [MAN, ‘What do you feel like for dessert?’

WOMAN, ‘It really doesn't matter. It's all bull semen.’

MAN, ‘Okay Debbie Downer. So that's a no to tapioca pudding.’] 

Angra Mainyu also convinces this human couple to tell the first lie.

11 [WOMAN, 'Yes, it was great. And no, I'm totally not weirded out by you being my brother at all.']

So here we have Angra Mainyu responsible for the deception that resulted in the creation of humanity and he is connected to snakes, flies and lies. 

[SATAN, ‘I still don’t see any similarities.'] 

According to Zoroastrian tradition the end of the world will come when the forces of good finally overcome the forces of evil. 

[SATAN, 'Going by that logic, evil is what keeps this world alive. Not the brightest spark in the fire, that Zoroaster.']

The hills and mountains will melt and that molten lava will flow across the world in rivers. 

12 [WOMAN, 'I see now we shouldn't have fought so hard against evil! That's my take away from this!']

Everyone including all of our raised from the dead ancestors will have to wade through the molten magma. To the good people it will feel like warm milk.

REPLAY OSV1OG [INDIA, ‘It’s not too bad once you get used to it.’]

[JUDE, ‘Because I guess good people have asbestos legs or something?’]

To the bad people the molten magma will feel like, you know, molten magma. 

REPLAY OSV1OG [SCREAMING

INDIA, ‘I don’t know what you’re crying about? It’s lovely.’]

The lava will eventually flow down into hell and destroy Angra Mainyu. 

13 [SFX SCREAMING SUFFERING AND BURNING SOULS

ANGRA MAINYU, 'I regret nothing!']

Zoroastrians like to build fire temples. They almost always pray to their god in the presence of fire. It is seen as a gateway to the eternal. 

[JUDE, ‘Finally, a religion I understand!’]

[SFX BONG

AI MAN, ‘Oh yeah! That's the spot.’]

Zoroaster liked to demonize the existing deities in his homeland to the point that hundreds of years later those old gods were simply the demons of his religion. 

[JUDE, ‘Didn’t we hear this story in the last episode?’]

Yep.

[ERIC SON OF A DUSTMAN, ‘Nothing new ever happens.’]

This pattern was replicated again hundreds of years later in Europe. Once Christianity became dominant, the church demonized, criminalized and persecuted the pagan and wicca religions.

14 [CHRISTIAN, ‘Oh look at that. My god just cut your friend's head off.’

PAGAN, ‘Your god didn't do that! You did that.’

CHRISTIAN, ‘Hmmm, tomato, tomatoe.’]

We ended up with witch trials, inquisitions and crusades. Any deviation from the company line was described as devil worshipping. 

REPLAY OSV1OG [PREIST, ‘Are you reading a book?’

PEASANT, ‘Yes.’

PREIST, ‘Is it the bible?’

PEASANT, ‘Um, no?’

PREIST, ‘Devil worshipper!’]

Abraham’s people and eventual authors of the Old Testament, came into contact hard with the Zoroastrian religion while many of their elites were exiled to Babylon in the 6th century BCE. 

15 [LEAH, 'Terrible news Naomi, all of our elites are being shipped off to Babylon.'

INSINCERE NAOMI, 'Oh no, what ever will we do without the upper crust standing over us with their boots on our throats.']

This was before and during the writing of the books of Ezekial, Daniel, Enoch, Jubilees, Numbers, Kings, Chronicles, Zechariah and Job. These are the books that the Christians will use to mould our modern day devil.

[SATAN, ‘You make it sound like I was created by a bunch of unimaginative hacks, copying the homework of another bunch of unimaginative hacks!’

TTS, ‘If the shoe fits.’]

Many scholars believe contact with Zoroastrianism seems to have influenced the apocalyptic Jews of the 2nd and 1st centuries BCE with its good god bad god concept. 

16 [PAGAN, 'Wow a flood that wiped almost all life on the planet, plagues, murder of thousands of completely blameless first born children? What did your GOOD god do about that evil shit?'

CHRISTIAN, 'Um, oh, whoops, this is awkward.']

Apocalyptic Jews didn't necessarily believe the world was about to end.

REPLAY: BOR00 08 [PANNICKER, 'We’re all gonna die!']

Although some of them certainly did think that. As we’ve discussed in our itinerant series about the, Book of Revelation... 

[ERIC SON OF A DUSTMAN, ‘Gratuitous back catalogue plug.’]

Apocalypse means, revelation. So around this time there were a bunch of 'prophets' running around claiming to be receiving revelations directly from YHWH. 

17 [PROPHET, 'The lord has spoken to me and told me I am to lead you all.'

PROPHETESS, 'That’s weird because the lord spoke to ME and he said you're a stinky poo poo head.']

If John the Baptist and Jesus actually existed, this is what they were. 

18 [MATTHEW, 'Then cometh Jesus from Galilee to Jordan unto John, to be baptized of him. But John forbad him, saying,'

JOHN, 'I have need to be baptized of thee, and comest thou to me?'

MATTHEW, 'And Jesus answering said unto him,'

JESUS, 'Oh my dad! Did we just become best friends?']

[JUDE, ‘What can we take away from this minisode in the Origin Story Volume One miniseries? Did Angra Mainyu have an influence on Satan?’]

It is debated among scholars, but come on, his molten lake of fire, along with the part he plays in the creation and destruction of humanity, not to mention his association with lies, snakes and flies? Please.

 [JUDE, ‘And just like our devil, his very existence proves, humans can’t actually do monotheism. And that’s why Satan is my Superhero.’]