Satan Is My Superhero
THE sketch comedy show for sinners.
Satan Is My Superhero
Creflo Dollar: God’s Favorite Billionaire?
In this sinful episode of Satan Is My Superhero, Judas (and Lexi) dig into the diamond-studded sermons of Creflo Dollar—pastor of World Changers Church and poster boy of the prosperity gospel. We investigate how wealthy Creflo Dollar really is, why he needed a $65 million jet, and what’s up with all the cars, mansions, and ministries. Did you hear about the Creflo Dollar plane crash hoax? We did too—and we’re calling BS. It’s a darkly comedic breakdown of Creflo Dollar’s net worth, his brand of holy hustle, and what happens when faith becomes a financial empire.
Featuring sketch comedy, satire, and hard facts—because nothing says "Jesus" like a Rolls Royce and a tax-free donation button. Totally unrelated and without a hint of irony, check out our Patreon and join the 3rd Circle of Hell!
www.patreon.com/satanismysuperhero
There are celebrity cameo guest star appearances from: West Georgia College, World Dome, Atlanta, Georgia, 501c Tax Exemption Code as per Title 26 under the Internal Revenue Code of 1986, Michael Smith, Atlanta White Pages, Urban Dictionary, Empowered for Success, The True Source of your Prosperity and Grace for Financial Stewardship, PayPal, YouTube, Gulfstream G650, Mars, Law Based Prayer versus Grace Based Prayer, The Power of Supernatural Living, Prayer Into Communion, Johnny Cochran, Madison Square Gardens, The Great Misunderstanding, Old Testament, New Testament and Satan!
#Creflo Dollar podcast
#Prosperity gospel preacher exposed
#Creflo Dollar jet scandal
#Prosperity theology critique
#Satirical religious podcast
#Televangelist scams
#Richest preachers in America
#Faith healing scam
#Creflo Dollar money sermon
#Tithing controversy
#Creflo Dollar plane
#Prosperity gospel explained
#Satan is My Superhero Creflo episode
#Christian grift comedy
#Creflo Dollar satire
#ProsperityGospel #CrefloDollar #TelevangelistExposed #ChristianGrift #SatirePodcast #ReligiousComedy #FaithForSale #SatanIsMySuperhero #Exvangelical #DarkComedy #SketchComedyPodcast
#666 #SketchComedy #Sketch #Comedy #Sketch Comedy #Atheist #Science #History #Atheism #Antitheist #ConspiracyTheory #Conspiracy #Conspiracies #Sceptical #Scepticism #Mythology #Religion #Devil #Satan #Satanism #Satanist #Skeptic #Debunk #Illuminati #Podcast #funny #sketch #skit #comedy #parody #satire #comedyshow #comedyskits #HeavyMetal #weird #leftist #SatanIsMySuperhero
Creflo Dollar - EP97
[JUDE, ‘In this episode we pick up some more of what Prosperity Gospel is laying down and apply the sniff test.’]
01 [SNIFFER, 'Smells like bullshit to me!']
[JUDE, ‘Our conduit into this sewer pit of blasphemy will be the wonderfully named, Creflo Dollar.’]
02 [MLK, 'Let my money flow!'
ROBOT RAPPER, 'Who got a dollar? You got a dollar?'
MLK, 'I ain't got no dollar.'
ROBOT RAPPER, 'Where is my dollar? You got my dollar?'
MLK, 'I ain't got no dollar.']
[JUDE, 'What do we know about Creflo Dollar’s background?']
[CHOIR OF ANGELS, ‘Time for a brief background.’]
He does not divulge any historical information about himself on his about page.
03 [CHOIR OF DEMONS, ‘And we all know what that means.’
BIOGRAPHER, 'And what did you do after elementary school?'
DOLLAR, 'I went to highschool.'
BIOGRAPHER, 'And did anything note worthy happen at highschool?'
DOLLAR, 'No.'
BIOGRAPHER, 'Riiiiiight, cool, cool, coolio. What did you do next?'
DOLLAR, 'I went to college.'
BIOGRAPHER, 'Great! And did anything...'
DOLLAR, 'No.'
BIOGRAPHER, 'Maybe we'll just skip this whole part.']
The earliest information about him we could be bothered finding, claims he planned to be a professional soccer player. But discovered Jesus while studying for his Bachelor of Science in Education at West Georgia College.
04 [COACH, 'Welcome to soccer try outs. First up, let's see your injury faking skills.'
DOLLAR, 'Arrrgggghhh!'
COACH, 'God damn it Dollar! You're the best damb faker, I've ever seen! You're a God damned natural. With faking abilities like that, you should consider a career in gay porn, or the church.']
From there it was the usual Prosperity Preacher story, we've told on this podcast before.
[JUDE, 'Preached to a small group in a non church location.']
The cafeteria of a local elementary school.
[JUDE, 'Perfect! Then built that following up to a mega church located near a wellspring of poor folk.']
The 8500 seater called the World Dome in Atlanta, Georgia.
05 [TEACHER, 'Welcome to Seminary school. We're going to spend the entire first term studying the most important document in the history of Christianity.'
STUDENT, 'The Holy Bible!'
TEACHER LAUGHING, 'Ha, ha. No. Goodness me, no. No, we'll be studying the 501c Tax Exemption Code as per Title 26 under the Internal Revenue Code of 1986.']
[JUDE, ‘Is Creflo Dollar his birth name? I don’t actually care. It's his right to choose his own identity. But Creflo DOLLAR is an interesting choice for a Christian grifter.’]
06 [WIFE, 'I'm not comfortable taking the kids to Sunday School anymore.'
HUSBAND, 'Oh really, why?'
WIFE, 'I know this is going to sound silly and you're going to think I'm over reacting. But the new teacher is called, Peter I Will Definitely Molest Your Children This is Not a Joke Pedo McPedoface.']
Here’s what Dollar himself has to say about the name.
07 [DOLLAR, ‘Let’s look at some urban legends. There’s an urban legend that my real name isn’t Creflo Dollar but Michael Smith. That there’s ATMs in our church. That you have to show W2 forms to get into our church. So ridiculous. Satan’s spreading lies. There’s an urban legend that I’m stealing from my parishioners. Poor-minded, broke-minded church folk are contained in a prison of Satan’s making to keep them that way, fearful of a preacher named Dollar who will take your money.’]
[JUDE, ‘He had me right up until he mentioned Satan. Then he started telling demonstrable lies. So I don't know man. His name might be Michael Smith!’]
Well I looked up Dollar as a surname. According to Family Search, it is legit.
08 [FS, 'Dollar is an American eyesd form of the German name, Daah ler. Meaning, someone who lived in a valley.'
SFX NATURE SOUNDS
HATER, 'Ohh look at you! Living in the valley, Mr Too Good to be blown around by the wind all day. Must be lovely!'
DAHLER, 'Yeah, it's quite pleasant.'
HATER, 'I'm sure it is!'
(BEAT)
HATER, 'Do you have any room down there, for one more? Asking for a friend.']
And there are around five thousand Dollars in the U.S.
[JUDE, ‘There will be even less than that by the time Trump's finished with the place!
BOOM TISH LAUGH TRACK
JUDE, ‘Thank you, I’m here all week. Try the veal.’]
I went to the Atlanta White Pages.
[JUDE, 'White Pages? Listen to you, Nana!']
Shut up. Anyway, there were over a hundred Dollars in the Atlanta Phonebook.
09 [WANKYPRANKER, ‘Welcome back to my channel. Today we’re going to put a new twist on an old joke.’
SFX PHONE RINGS AND IS PICKED UP
ANSWER, ‘Hello.’
WANKYPRANKER, ‘Hello. Is Mr Dollar there?’
ANSWER, ‘No.’
WANKYPRANKER, ‘What about Mrs Dollar?’
ANSWER, ‘No. There are no Dollars here.’
WANKYPRANKER, ‘Well how do you pay your rent!’
THEME, ‘You’ve been wanky pranked!’
ANSWER SAD, ‘I can’t pay my rent. I’m getting evicted tomorrow.’]
So I think his name is probably real. But while I was trying to track that down, I looked into the etymology of Creflo. In case he had made it up. Do you want to hear it?
[JUDE, 'Sure. We've got to fill the background segment with something.']
Well, you'll be surprised to hear, no one agrees on the origin or meaning of Creflo. It could be an English name meaning, Believer and preacher. But it could also be of African origin and mean, Rich Young Ruler.
[JUDE, ‘The important thing is, both etymologies imply, shit bag.’]
Well, it's funny you should say that, because, according to the Urban Dictionary, Creflo has made it into the American lexicon. Here is the entry.
10 [UD, 'Creflo: Meaning, To steal, as in the tv minister Creflo A Dollar. Example: Manzz dont axe fo sheet, creflo dat motherfucka.']
[JUDE, ‘Are we allowed to say ANY of those words?’]
It felt wrong.
[JUDE, ‘Okay, we know nothing about his background and we’re not sure on the name.’]
I’m sure it’s his name.
[JUDE, ‘It’s more fun to be, not sure. But anyway, what DO we know about Creflo Dollar?’]
He is the author of the books and DVDs,
11 [DOLLAR, ‘Empowered for Success, The True Source of your Prosperity and Grace for Financial Stewardship.’]
[JUDE, ‘So…’]
[CHOIR OF ANGELS, ‘It’s all about the money.’]
Dollar is ALL about the money. He is the founder, CEO and head of Creflo Dollar Industries, I mean Ministries, Creflo Dollar Ministries. He is very much a Prosperity preacher of the 21st century.
12 [DOLLAR, ‘I lie for engagement!’]
If you visit his slick website you’ll be shown opportunities to give him money at every click of the mouse.
[ERIC SON OF A DUSTMAN, ‘Cha Ching.’]
If websites are just to 1990s for you, don’t despair, you can find his app in the appstore and start giving him money through PayPal immediately.
13 [MUM, ‘What's the matter sweetie?’
CHILD, ‘I was just checking the likes on my latest Instagram post and I didn't get one from Jesus.’
MUM, ‘Oh dear! Maybe you're not really my child!’]
[JUDE, ‘And, what kind of bullshit does this guy spout?’]
In his DVD,
14 [DOLLAR, ‘God’s Plan for your Finances.’]
Dollar reveals God’s plan for,
15 [DOLLAR, ‘transferring the wealth of the world into the body of Christ. You’ll also learn the power of tithing and giving as your secret weapon in walking the path to abundance.’]
[JUDE, ‘Is it just a coincidence that YHWH's plans for your finances happen to end in Creflo Dollar’s bank account?’]
16 [EDM SONG, ‘The lord moves in mysterious ways.’
DOLLAR, ‘Give me some o yo money!’]
In 2015 Dollar faced public backlash after asking his partners to buy him a brand new $65 million private jet, claiming his old private jet was no longer usable.
17 [VALLEYGIRL, 'It's got like vinyl seats. Who even does that? It's so gross.']
That’s right, he already had a private jet at that time. He just wanted a new one. In a YouTube video, Dollar claimed,
18 [DOLLAR, Now you see why the devil tried so aggressively to discredit my voice.’]
[SATAN, ‘I really don't think Creflo requires my help there.’]
He then went on to deny he had asked his parishioners to pay for the jet, claiming,
19 [DOLLAR, ‘I ain’t never asked you for a dime.’
CHOIR OF DEMONS, ‘That’s bullshit.’]
While the original fundraising page had been cleaned from his website, his I.T. team had missed the archiving. At the time of writing, you could still find the video, proving Dollar had lied.
[DUNT DUNT DAH!
SARKY, ‘Wow! I didn’t see that coming.’]
Having just denied asking his parishioners to buy him a $65 million Gulfstream G650, Dollar then said,
20 [DOLLAR, ‘If they discover that there’s life on Mars, they gonna need to hear the gospel and I’m gonna have to believe God for a billion dollar space shuttle, because we got to preach the gospel on Mars.’]
[JUDE, ‘This humble down to earth preacher feels his message is worthy of interplanetary exploration!’]
21 [WATNEY, ‘I’m gonna have to Bible the shit out of this.’]
Dollar’s website and app are dedicated to selling merch. He bundles up his sermons and sells them.
22 [DRIVER, ‘Road trip!’
SHOTTY, ‘Road trip!’
ROADIE, ‘Vegas, here we come!’
ROGER, ‘I can't wait!’
ROADIE, ‘I get one holiday a year, this is going to be amazing.’
DRIVER, ‘Has everyone done their part?’
SHOTTY, ‘I brought the snacks. None of which are healthy. Some of these 'foods' might even kill us before we get there.’
ROADIE, I got the drinks, including a delightful selection of non alcoholic beverages for the driver.’
DRIVER, ‘Roger, did you bring the tunes?’
ROGER, ‘I've done even better than that. I downloaded 14 hours of Creflo Dollar sermons.’
CRICKETS
ROADIE, ‘You know, maybe I should spend more time with my family.’
SHOTTY, ‘I've been putting off getting a tooth pulled. I'm gonna do that, this weekend instead.’
DRIVER, ‘The knowledge that 14 hours of Creflo Dollar sermons exist has robbed me of the will to live.’]
Now when I say ‘sells’ his sermons, he’s not as crass as that! You ‘gift’ him an amount of money and then in return you receive his words of wisdom. For example in,
23 [DOLLAR, ‘Law Based Prayer versus Grace Based Prayer.’]
Dollar victim blames with this,
24 [DOLLAR, Every failure in life is a prayer failure, and every success we experience is because we remain in a constant two-way dialogue with Christ.’]
[JUDE, ‘Wow! Can you imagine, a constant two way dialogue, with a Christian?’]
25 [ANNOUNCER, ‘Are you sick and tired of waiting for Jesus to answer your prayers? He's your saviour isn't he? Who exactly does he think he works for? When will you be the priority? It's time for you to exert your authority over the messiah. New from Creflo Dollar Industries, the Constant Dialogue Hotline. This is the call Jesus can't block. For a low, low price of 6.66 a month with no added fees or charges you'll have a continually open line to the son of YHWH.’
MARGARET, ‘Are you there God? It’s me Margaret. Of course you’re there. I’ve got a contract. Just sitting on the toilet right now feeling a bit bored. I’d like you to sing for me.’
DISCLAIMER, ‘Creflo Dollar Industries cannot guarantee your call won’t be blocked. Additional fees and charges will definitely apply.’]
In,
26 [DOLLAR, ‘The Power of Supernatural Living.’]
Dollar explains,
27 [DOLLAR, ‘We have the authority to bring to pass things that have already happened in heaven.’]
[JUDE, ‘Yeah that's right. And in Heaven, Creflo Dollar has already tricked you out of your money.’]
In,
[TTS, ‘Prayer Into Communion.’]
Dollar tells us,
28 [DOLLAR, ‘Effective prayer brings breakthrough and gives us the same power that Jesus Christ has.’]
[JUDE, ‘If you wish hard enough you will have all the power of a long dead Palestinian who probably never actually existed at all. At least Dollar is being honest about what he's selling for a change.’]
While I was there perusing Dollar’s store, I mean website, I checked out the FAQ page. It lists just 5 questions. Teeteaz, can you give us those 5 frequently asked questions, in order.
[TTS, ‘What are the postage charges for orders from Creflo Dollar Ministries? Which payment methods are accepted by Creflo Dollar Ministries? How long will delivery take? Do I receive an Invoice for my order?’]
[JUDE, ‘No spiritual conundrums being answered then?’]
I’ll say it again, Creflo Dollar is all about the,
[CHOIR OF ANGELS, ‘Tax free dollars.’]
Dollar has said,
29 [DOLLAR, ‘Without a doubt, my life is not average. But I'd like to say, just because it is excessive doesn't necessarily mean it's wrong. The issue is, what route did you use to get that excess?’]
[JUDE, ‘Wow. It’s moment like these I wish Jesus WAS real.’]
30 [NEWS, ‘And this just in. Exactly one hour ago, it was revealed Jesus and Christianity are real. In a related report, a constant stream of diarrhoea has been flowing out of Creflo Dollar's house, for the last hour.’]
In 2012 police were called to the Dollar household in Atlanta Georgia, where the good Pastor had allegedly assaulted his 15 year old daughter.
[JUDE, ‘Let's not forget, we're making a comedy show.’]
Don't worry it's funny.
[JUDE, ‘Oh a funny assault on a teenaged girl! Please carry on.’]
According to the local newspaper report,
31 [NP, The two were arguing over whether or not she could attend a party when the pastor allegedly threw her to the ground, choked her, punched her and hit her with his shoe. ']
[JUDE, ‘Is the shoe, the funny part?’
Yep. I thought you could do sketch...
[JUDE, ‘About a child being beaten with a shoe. Sure!’]
32 [DOLLAR, 'I'm looking for a new pair of shoes?'
SALES, 'Certainly. What are we talking, running shoes, formal wear or work shoes? And what is most important to you, comfort or style?'
DOLLAR, ‘What's most important to me is, leaving bruises but not drawing blood.']
Dollar did not deny the allegations. According to the report,
33 [NP, 'he was trying to restrain his daughter when she…’
DOLLAR, ‘became very disrespectful.’
NP, ‘He confessed to spanking and…’
DOLLAR, ‘wrestling.’
NP, ‘…her to the floor. He also claims he only went that far because she hit him.'
SFX SMACK
DOLLAR, ‘Ow!’]
[JUDE, ‘Great defence. Who's his lawyer? Johnny Cochran?’]
34 [COCHRAN, 'If the shoe does not fit, you must acquit!']
In a Sermon, the following weekend Dollar claimed,
35 [DOLLAR, 'I should have never been arrested. Never!']
[JUDE, ‘He’s gonna blame Satan isn’t he?’]
That is what we’re here for. Dollar went on to say...
36 [DOLLAR, 'The devil knows in order to discredit the message, you have to first of all discredit the messenger.']
[JUDE, ‘Satan sure does seem to spend a lot of time persecuting Dollar. Like a lot more than other people. Just sayin.’]
[SATAN, 'Just sayin? I don't like what you're implying!']
In 2013 the charges were dropped provided Dollar completed a three month anger management course.
37 [COURSE, ‘Mr Dollar, please tell the whole class what you have learned over the last 3 months?’
DOLLAR, ‘Don't hit your teenaged daughter with a shoe.’
COURSE, ‘Don't hit ANYONE with a shoe.’
DOLLAR, ‘Oh yeah, that's right. Use your fists.’
COURSE, ‘No!’
DOLLAR, ‘Open hand?’]
In a 2014 show at Madison Square Gardens, while the buckets were going around being filled with cash, Dollar explained the night before, a boy had run off with one of the buckets. Dollar threatened the audience,
38 [DOLLAR, ‘Lord, don’t try that tonight. The most dangerous thing you could do to the Lord.’]
[JUDE, ‘Stealing from Creflo Dollar is the most dangerous thing you can do to the lord?’]
Yeah, it’s right up there with eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, the tower of Babel and leading 200 angels in rebellion.
[JUDE, ‘The ego on this little child beating piss stain!’]
39 [DOLLAR, ‘Jesus loves me and my money. Don't be jealous!’]
Dollar has said in a sermon,
40 [DOLLAR, ‘The poor man’s poverty destroys him. Satan is the enemy trying to convince you that prosperity is a curse. Satan has frightened people into believing there’s something inherently evil about money. He’s spreading lies. He wants you to believe poverty is noble. Millions have been taken by his deception. I don’t agree. Can I get an Amen?’]
[JUDE, ‘Translation.’]
41 [DOLLAR, ‘Anyone who threatens my unethical revenue stream is a Satan! I'm not being hysterical! You're being hysterical!’]
In 2022 Dollar caused a ruckus in Christian circles when he delivered a Sermon titled, The Great Misunderstanding. Where he said,
42 [DOLLAR, 'I have no shame at all at saying to you, throw away every book, every tape and every video I ever did on the subject of tithing unless it lines up with this.']
The ‘this’ he is taking about the fact that, while the Old Testament defines tithing at 10%. The New Testament DOESN'T give a figure. Dollar went on to say,
43 [DOLLAR, 'So every Christian should diligently pray and seek God’s wisdom in the matters of participating on how much you should give.']
[JUDE, ‘So he lowered his prices.’]
[SATAN, ‘He had a sale! What’s wrong with that?’]
44 [LEXI, ‘Every listener should diligently pray and seek Satan’s wisdom in the matters of Patreon and how much you should give.’
(BEAT)
LEXI, ‘I would suggest signing up at the third circle of Hell and getting exclusive bonus episodes.
(BEAT)
LEXI, ‘Don’t forget, every dollar you give us, is a dollar kept out of the grubby little mitts of some Prosperity Gospel grifter.’
DOLLAR, ‘Can I get a dollar?’]
[JUDE, ‘What can we take away from Creflo Dollar?’]
Definitely not money. That kid who stole the bucket in New York is still on the run.
[JUDE, ‘I think we can definitely take away some solid parenting advice from Creflo.’]
45 [ANNOUNCER, ‘Are you surrounded by mouthy teenagers who failed to take on every bit of the BS you've been feeding them since birth? Do they seem to be rejecting your lessons, which in turn makes you question your entire worldview? Thereby creating an awkward angst, you definitely do not have the cognitive ability to identify, face or resolve? Well worry no more piss stain. New from Christ Incorporated, The Young Adult Beating Shoe.’
PARENT, ‘It's flexible enough to give a really satisfying slap on impact. But still hard enough to do real damage!’
OTHERPARENT, ‘It fits into my hand like a glove. But it's not a glove. It's a shoe!’
ANOTHERPARENT, ‘Thank you The Young Adult Beating Shoe, before my daughter moved away and stopped talking to me, I was able to give her one last beating, she won't be forgetting anytime soon.’
ANNOUNCER, ‘The Young Adult Beating Shoe. Spare the rod. Use the shoe.’
DISCLAIMERGUY, ‘The Young Adult Beating Shoe is a product of Christ Incorporated. Beating your child is a YHWH International initiative, brought to you by Christ Incorporated. Christ Incorporated is a subsidiary if YHWH International. Stay stupid and keep hating.’
CHOIR OF ANGELS, ‘Stay stupid and keep hating.’]
And that’s why Satan is my superhero.